Wow.

So, thanks to the handy little voice-to-text feature on the new iPhone, I have been able to quickly record little notes for myself regarding the things Ava has said in the past week. And it's a lot. I don't know if she's just on a roll, or if she's always this amusing and I don't realize it because I never recorded this much of it before. Anyhow...

Me: "Ava, you're so pretty!"

Ava: (proudly) "And SNEAKY!"

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Me: "Go Bears!"

Ava: "GO EAGLES! I like the Eagles. Eagles live in the forest."

Me: "Um...yeah, Bears live in the forest, Ava."

Ava: "Oh! Haha! I was just kidding, go Bears!"


(I am not sure how she's deciding which team to cheer for--my Bears or Craig's Eagles--but I suspect she seems to prefer the Eagles because 1. she knows it annoys me, and 2. she thinks eagles are cool, forest-dwelling creatures. Seems legit.)

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Ava: "Mommy, are we aliens?! With three hands???"

Me: "No."

Ava: "Oh, okay."

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I was asking Ava where her Tinkerbell doll's dress was, because it was freaking me out that Tink was sitting there on her dresser, buck naked, with the other princesses (who had also been naked until I found their dresses for them). She decided to go on a mission to find the dress, and began by rooting around in my makeup drawer.

Ava: (brandishing a makeup brush like a sword) "THIS MAKEUP BRUSH WILL PROTECT US!"

Me: "From what?"

Ava: "The MONSTERS! In the CLOSET!"

Me: "They're afraid of makeup brushes??"

Ava: "YES!"

She proceeds to run into my closet and comes out with Tinkerbell's dress. I have NO IDEA what it was doing in there. Mission accomplished, I guess.

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Me: "Oooh Ava, look at those trees! Look at all the beautiful colors of the leaves!"

Ava: "I'm going to rip all the branches off so you can't look at them!"

Me: "Well, that was kind of ugly and unnecessary."

Ava: (in a sing-song voice) "You forgot the spoo-oon, now it's too la-ate, you ca-an't spank me! HA HA!"

Me: "Um, yeah, I wasn't going to spank you for saying that you were going to rip the branches off of trees, but whatever..."

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We were listening to a CD of lullaby hymns in the car, my mom's friend sent it for CJ and both kids find it particularly soothing.

Ava: "Oh, Mommy, they said "God!" This song is about God!"

Me: "Yes, you're right, it's a song about God, honey."

Ava: "God is in our hearts."

Me: "Awww, that's so sweet...yes, He is!"

Ava: "I want a Barbie doll."

Me: "..."

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Me: (we are in the car) "Ava, please stop kicking your legs."

Ava: "I can't help it, it's my legs! They have to jump!"

Me: "Wow."

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Ava: "Oh no! I forgot my phone at home! (pulls out a little plastic horse from her purse) I guess I'll just have to use my horse phone! ("dials" a number on the horse's side and then puts it up to her ear) "Oh, hi! How are you? (pause) We're good! Just out doing an errand! Okay bye!"

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Craig: "Ava, if you have one and then you have two more, how many do you have?"

Ava: "Three!"

Craig: "Oh my goodness, that is SCARY. How does she know that? How is she that smart?!"

Me: (I'm pretty sure it's coincidence, because he said one and two, so she just followed with three, so I test her with my own math problem) "Ava, if you have two, and then you add three more, what do you get?"

Ava: (pauses to think) "Pudding!"

Craig: *facepalm*

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Ava: (hides her hands behind her back) "Oh my goodness, WHERE ARE MY HANDS???? I think I left them in the forest!"

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Me: "Ava look over at CJ, is he asleep?"

Ava: "Nope! He's just chillin'."

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Ava: "Mommy, sit down right now or I'll touch your butt with a screwdriver!"

Me: "Jeez Ava, what the heck? Why on earth would you say that? That's really weird!"

Ava: "Haha! Yeah, that's the worst thing I ever said!"

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Ava: (sighs) "I wish trees would walk around and talk..."

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Ava: "My brain is in my head. It protects my head, it keeps it from falling off."

Me: "Ohhhkay....your brain protects your head?"

Ava: "Yes...so you need to stop talking so much! IT MAKES MY BRAIN HURT!"

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Ava now belts out the chorus to "Livin' on a Prayer" frequently...except instead of "Take my hand/and we'll make it, I swear" she thinks it's "Take my HAIR"...this makes me laugh. A lot.