YOUR MOM IS GHETTO

You know what's worse than forgetting the funny things that Ava says? Going so long between posts that even the notes I've jotted down on my phone no longer make sense...yikes! Anyhow, here's what I *do* remember...

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Ava: (in the car, totally out of the blue) "Your mom is ghetto."

Me: "WHAT?!"

Ava: (defensively): "The trees said I could say that!"

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Ava: "Mommy, I prayed for you at school today!"

Me: "Awww, that's so sweet! What did you pray about?"

Ava: "That you would come back for me...and you did!"

Awwwww....

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Ava: (randomly) "Jesus thinks I'm a weirdo!"

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Ava: *gets angry at me in the car because I won't take my eyes off of the road to search for one of her toys*

Me: "Ava! I cannot look for your toy! Do you want me crash this car?!"

Ava: "DON'T SAY CRASH! That's a bad word!"

Me: "..."

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Ava: (watching me change CJ's diaper...her fascination with anatomy continues...) "What's that thing called again?"

Me: "It's a penis."

Ava: "Oh. Can I touch it?"

Me: "NO."

Ava: "Oh...will it fall off?"

Me: "Yes. Yes, it will."

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Ava: "So, boys have penises?"

Me: "Yes."

Ava: "But what about boys who DON'T have them? What are they?"

Me: "Ummm. Girls?"

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Me: *singing*

Ava: "NO. I have had ENOUGH "Amazing Grace" for today!"

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Ava: *misbehaves*

Me: " Ava, knock it off. I don't want to have to spank you!"

Ava: *sigh* "I don't want to have to spank you either, Mommy."

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We were watching a documentary on sea turtles with Ava. At one point, the turtles were mating. For reasons unknown, Ava turns to us and says, "NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL SWIMMING!" There's no way she could have known what was truly going on, but holy crap, we about wet ourselves laughing at the timeliness of her comment.

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Ava: "Ready Girl is ready for action!"

(I guess she was in superhero mode...I'm not sure who Ready Girl is, but apparently she is ready for action of some sort.)

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Me: "Eat your dinner, please."

Ava: "I can't eat! I'm busy saving the earth!"

Me: "..."

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Me: *I ask Ava a question about why she did something*

Ava: "Oh, I don't know...because I'm crazy 'bout Elvis?"

She took that from the line of a Tom Petty song...I. AM. SO. PROUD.

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Ava is prone to bursting into song these days...sometimes real songs, sometimes made-up ones. A few weeks ago in Target, she randomly busted out "Living On A Prayer." She was spot-on with the lyrics, too. I was highly amused, and extremely proud. ;o)

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Ava: "What does that boy next door do?"

Me: "Huh?"

Ava: "He goes to that thing...ka--something? And he wears that outfit?"

Me: "Ohhhhh....you mean karate?"

Ava: "YES! What is that?"

Me: (I have no idea how to explain this) "Well, it's a type of fighting...like, ninja moves. Like in the movie 'Mulan.' I guess. I don't know."

Ava: (ponders this for awhile) "Mommy, can you buy me a ninja suit?"

I burst out laughing, which prompts a near-tantrum from Ava. I laugh harder. Note to self: when the preschooler asks for a ninja suit, she means business.